Well I'm back after a short stay in nuts ville!
Yes that's right people i went fucking nut's......sorry about the swearing but I've come to the reality that not everyone is them self's in there blogs, well at lest i was not completely open with you, hiding behind the cheery minuscule minute events of my life that i blogged about when i just really wanted to say OMFG this mum gig is harder then i thought! Your probably laughing to your self thinking "well Der Kristi" who ever said it was going to be easy lied the misogynistic shits.
Any way i was feeling over whelmed with life yelling, crying, screaming, complaining, demanding, etc: you get the picture. i could not put words to how i was feeling & since I've worked or studied from the age of 16 i could only say that i think i over romanticised the whole stay at home mum/home maker thing!
I don't buy magazines or land fill as i call them, So my mum collects cooking, better homes & garden mags for me to get ideas & recipes from so while sifting through the last lot just before Easter i came across an old family circle & turned to a article on "baby blues", i scanned the signs & symptoms cheeking them off in my head yes, yes, derr, yer, mmm, O-shit! tears were welling up in my eyes as i read the article from top to bottom. I bravely asked my hubby, chocking on my words "do you think i may be suffering just a little from of PND"? (post natal depression)? love the way i stated just a little?....."Um not just a little" said the man holding a filled washing basket and just having put the kids to bed, he had taken over running the house on his 10 day Easter break.
Any who.......So I've become a little clearer on my feelings & how to help myself over come the moods before they completely suck the life out of my family, slowly, no one can do it for me I'm not going to complain about my life anymore just act on changing the parts that i want changed, I'm sorting through the house, every cupboard, every room! if we don't use it its gone & tomorrow i going to look at some houses but more on that next time.
Before i go i would like to say thank you to my Husband for picking me up when i was down, thank you to my dear friends Kristi & Kylie who just listened to me complain about dumb things like whiny kids & house work..& the 2 consistent boogers in my life Enchanted Moments & Green Ness. As i forced down a coffee every morning i read your blogs which would inspire me for the day:)
& a new blog that Kylie told me to read when i was down Apron Stringz, The first blog i read was called dear momma please have a read of i,t she's honest & doesn't hold back which some times you just need to see that your not alone in the raw feelings that come up from time to time. when you just want to stand on the curb out the front of your house & yell at the top of your lungs What the F#*%! is going on with my life!
A Scatted Blog at best i will admit but a necessary venting of the words trapped in my head at the minute. Happy Mothers Day <3 Kristi