On my mind
Hi-ho hi-ho it’s off to work I go,
Yes I said it work......I haven’t been making it work!
We have more outgoings than incomings & a private school bill to pay, so this weekend I’m getting tough and chopping the budget RIGHT down, I’m going medieval on our spending. I was set to be strong from the beginning of this journey but just dropped the ball well before my melt down at Easter, and then I just stopped paying attention and just started winging it!
UNTILL...
A letter in the mail Tuesday hit us hard, my mind span o-my-God how were we going to cope....
Money’s easy to talk about saving or budgeting but until you’re at the boiling point sometimes it’s too easy to turn a blind eye to a few dollars here a few dollars there, yeah take away for lunch sounds good but before you know it another bill lands in the mail box & you are up shit creek...pardon my French!
So Wednesday I hit the phones calling childcare centres, but being firm about my daughter’s school hours. I would only be available for a certain time frame & would be accompanied by my 1 year old son, well to say the least my industry does not have a high demand for the hours I needed so I called my old boss ....within hours an old work colleague rang back to say “come in tomorrow,” being very flexible with my children’s needs I said “I didn’t need a permanent position just a bit of work.” so I did 3 hours yesterday & 3 today hopefully leaving with more hours booked for next week.
I felt sick driving up to the building, that all too familiar feeling in the pit of my stomach, but I was welcomed warmly by staff I knew & staff I didn’t. Allowing me to just sink back into the job as if I had never though possible, 17 years of child care in my blood I guess, but my boy Ricky he dint cope well, people talking to him trying to pick him up, other children just upset the little man to a heart breaking point I wanted to leave just to make him feel safe, but as the other children went down for naps he eased up a bit, I only hope today will be easier on us both as I’m not in the same room with him this worries me a bit, but we will both do our best to make new friend’s & find blessing in our new situation.
This experience has now re-confirmed my love for my home. I felt it so strongly coming home yesterday, with Ricky passed out in my arms I lowered him into his bed safely & thought “I’m so lucky to have this place to come home to” as so many people cannot get a mortgage. To be able to call something your own is a privilege & I’ve been blind to that as of late shadowed by my dreams, when I just need to be patient in the knowledge that...
“Life is what you live while you’re waiting for your life to begin!”
